To me, this whole business of how to upgrade Joomla is one of the most frustrating aspects of using Joomla. We've all been there, right? You install J! 1.5.x and you want to update your site to J! 1.5.y (or J! 1.6.x to J! 1.6.y). So you read the convulted instructions that are printed at
www.joomla.org and you say, "What the heck ... ???" (If you are, like me, someone who carefully chooses his words or you say something else that we'd rather not repeat in polite company.

)
Why do you get the message "JInstaller: :Install: Cannot find XML setup file"? This is because the Joomla patch files do not have a XML setup file or
manifest (as it's sometimes referred to) that is used by the Joomla extension installer. Let me put it to you in another way: you don't use Joomla to upgrade Joomla.
So, how
do you update Joomla? The answer is that you replace the files on your site with the updated versions created by the Joomla core team. There are a couple of ways that you can do that.
(1) Unpack the patch kit on your PC and, using FTP, copy the files to their corresponding folder locations on the target site. That's the method that you're "supposed" to use (if you understand the Joomla guide gobbledegook). I don't favour that approach because it's easy to make a mistake and put the files in the wrong places if you're not careful.
(2) Use
Kickstart (a tool provided for free by
Akeeba Backup) to do the unpacking for you. This involves two steps:
- Use FTP, copy the file kickstart.php and the compressed Joomla patch file [.ZIP format] to the root folder of your site
- Run kickstart.php ... literally as mydomain/kicstart.php
... and that's pretty much all there is to it.
The main thing is that, if you've never done a Joomla update before, practise the technique on a well backed-up website. Practise, practise, practise until you get the technique down pat and you can do it with your eyes shut. I do most of my updates in less than 5 minutes.